Where do you turn when your heart is overcome with sorrow? Who do you call when you can’t bear to think of facing one more day? Who’s the first person you think to call when your world is crashing down? None of us are strangers to suffering; its part of living in this sin-cursed world. Sometimes the burdens can become so heavy that you literally don’t think you can take one more step, so you reach out for help. Who do you turn to to help carry that burden?
As believers, we are beyond blessed to have the family of God. Ideally, we should all have someone that will pray with us, comfort us, encourage us, and strengthen us when we are weak. According to God’s model, as women, we should all have an older lady who is wise and reverent in behavior that is able to teach us how to live a godly life (Titus 2:3-5). Multiple times, Scripture commends those who seek out counsel from wiser believers.
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14
Truly, God has provided the church as a means to strengthen and build each other up. Paul says in Galatians to “bear one another’s burdens.” Perhaps you have been the recipient of such great love and care. Maybe you had an unexpected surgery and the women of the church consistently brought meals, helped watch your children, and even pampered you. Maybe you were absolutely hopeless, ready to pull the trigger, and your friend came to weep with you and gently point you to the one who is hope. Or maybe you absolutely could not stop looking at pornography, and a dear sister held you accountable, prayed with and for you and encouraged you regularly not to give into sin that was destroying you. You absolutely needed these people, and by God’s grace, in His kindness, He provided help through His children. Just think, what a blessing it is to have fellowship with other believers, something that unbelievers do not have. Mentors and dear sisters are truly a gift from God.
I’ve got to admit, there’s a problem here. What happens when you really really need that friend during a crisis, but they don’t answer the phone? Do you immediately fall into despair? What I’m getting at is this…Who do you ultimately put your trust in? Christian brothers and sisters are wonderful gifts, but they are not the Giver, or the Sustainer. They unfortunately will let you down because they are human. Consider this story about Eliakim in Isaiah.
In Isaiah 22, we are told that Eliakim, “God Raises” replaced Shebna as the prime minister or steward. According to the text, Eliakim was a godly leader. God granted him great responsibility. He brought honor to his household. He was truly a blessing; full of wisdom. Who wouldn’t want to get counsel from a man like this? It seems that almost everyone ran to this man with burdens. We see the result in verse 25.
In that day, declares the Lord of hosts, the peg that was fastened in a secure place will give way, and it will be cut down and fall, and the load that was on it will be cut off, for the Lord has spoken. Isaiah 22:25
This godly man essentially fell. It doesn’t say because of sin or immorality. He collapsed because the load was too much to bear.
How insightful, and true. Other Christians, no matter how strong they are, are not able to carry the weight of every single burden. It is wearisome. It’s too heavy. So while it is a good thing to turn to others for counsel and encouragement, do so while remembering that you cannot place your hope in them. There is only One who is able to carry our burdens without growing weary. Jesus said,
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Mt 11:28-30
Also, Isaiah reminds us…
Have you not heard? The everlasting God, The Lord…neither faints nor is weary…He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Isaiah 40:28-29
He never grows weary. His strength is infinite AND He is able to strengthen you. There is no amount of suffering He can’t bear. Put your hope in Him.
So, while it is good and necessary to seek help from others, remember even the godliest friend is not God. She will grow weak. She might not have all of the answers. SHE might need to be lifted up and encouraged. Don’t lay more burdens on a dear sister who might not be able to carry them at the moment.
Ask yourself:
Have I taken this matter to the Lord yet, spending time in prayer and study of the Word?
Honestly, for myself I could stop right at this one. I’m always so quick to go to my friends before the Lord.
If married, Have I asked my spouse for his wisdom regarding this matter?
Is your friend going through a difficult time herself? If so, is it helpful or necessary to lay another burden on her? (This requires discernment. Depending on the matter, consider reaching out to another godly friend if necessary).
Have I been neglecting the grace God has given through the preaching of Word, fellowship of the saints, breaking of bread, etc?
These are just a few things to consider before choosing where to lay your next burden. No doubt, you will encounter a trial sometime soon if you aren’t already in one. Please, lock arms with your brethren in Christ, but remember to do so while hoping in the only One who is truly able to strengthen you, transform you, and heal you.
